jaythenerdkid:

"Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

youbestnotmiss:

katthekonqueror:

etherealzephyr:

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.

"I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me "

“’You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?’”

I found these quotes particularly interesting. OP’s mother refused to listen when she tried to talk about her depression, but snooped through her things to see if she was depressed.

It’s amazing to me that parents need to be told something that I GUARANTEE they experienced themselves. This is something that predates text messaging. You search your child’s room for drugs, and they will find a better hiding place for anything they may be worried about you finding - even if it’s as innocuous as candy. You try to snoop on their phone conversations with their boyfriend, and they will 1) Find a different way to communicate with him, and 2) Never communicate with YOU about their boyfriend.

My parents doing this shit to me didn’t make me stop doing it and didn’t make me respect them any more. All it did was make me better at sneaking around.

This is SO important. The reason I talk to one of my parents about everything and have absolutely no contact with the other parent is that one of them expressed interest in my life and listened to me talk about my day, while the other opened my mail behind my back, snooped on phone conversations, looked through my phone bill and called up any numbers they didn’t personally recognise to see who I was talking to, and would burst into my room unannounced to see if I was reading any “unapproved” books.

Guess which parent is one of my absolute best friends in the entire world to this day?

fuckyeahretailrobin:

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.
Top Text: “IGNORES ‘PLEASE LEAVE HEAVY ITEMS IN CART’ SIGN”Bottom Text: “GLARES AT YOU WHEN YOU ASK THEM TO GET THEIR SCANNED 24-PACK OF SODA OFF THE BELT”]
we have bright orange signs before the belt at each register that advise to leave heavy items like packs of soda and bags of pet food in the cart to be scanned with the hand scanner, mostly for cashier safety because it’s very awkward to maneuver large objects around the scanner with the space we have and we’re already on our feet all day with lower back pain.
of course, people almost always ignore the sign. i’m very petite and have a very bad back with a sciatic nerve that acts up, and lifting heavy things at the distance the belt is at is painful and difficult for me. a lot of the time the customer completely ignores me or gets angry when i ask them to please get the heavy item off the belt so i can keep scanning their other items. whenever i end up having to lift the items i make a big show of slowly pulling the item close to me and bending at the knees to slowly put it down with the rest of their bags, not only to show them ‘hey thanks a-hole’ but also for my own safety. i get comments where they’ll laugh and say “wow you did that so carefully, all proper lifting techniques!” after which i force a laugh and cheerfully mention my terrible back pain and the sign we have before the belt to leave such items in the cart.

haha no and the worst is when they’re like “but isn’t it your job to lift heavy things???!?!?!” a question I have been asked by both customers and coworkers!

fuckyeahretailrobin:

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “IGNORES ‘PLEASE LEAVE HEAVY ITEMS IN CART’ SIGN”

Bottom Text: “GLARES AT YOU WHEN YOU ASK THEM TO GET THEIR SCANNED 24-PACK OF SODA OFF THE BELT”]

we have bright orange signs before the belt at each register that advise to leave heavy items like packs of soda and bags of pet food in the cart to be scanned with the hand scanner, mostly for cashier safety because it’s very awkward to maneuver large objects around the scanner with the space we have and we’re already on our feet all day with lower back pain.

of course, people almost always ignore the sign. i’m very petite and have a very bad back with a sciatic nerve that acts up, and lifting heavy things at the distance the belt is at is painful and difficult for me. a lot of the time the customer completely ignores me or gets angry when i ask them to please get the heavy item off the belt so i can keep scanning their other items. whenever i end up having to lift the items i make a big show of slowly pulling the item close to me and bending at the knees to slowly put it down with the rest of their bags, not only to show them ‘hey thanks a-hole’ but also for my own safety. i get comments where they’ll laugh and say “wow you did that so carefully, all proper lifting techniques!” after which i force a laugh and cheerfully mention my terrible back pain and the sign we have before the belt to leave such items in the cart.

haha no and the worst is when they’re like “but isn’t it your job to lift heavy things???!?!?!” a question I have been asked by both customers and coworkers!

Reblogged from Fuck Yeah Retail Robin
Tags: retail robin
vintagenola:

One Canal Place - 1979
From the City Archives

I walk by here every day!  I wonder when Shops at Canal Place was added.

vintagenola:

One Canal Place - 1979

From the City Archives

I walk by here every day!  I wonder when Shops at Canal Place was added.

Reblogged from Vintage New Orleans
Tags: new orleans
activistaabsentee:

I really love Suey Park. 

activistaabsentee:

I really love Suey Park

Tags: feminism
sunnywallflower replied to your post: “also there was a cockroach in our bathroom so I picked up Fennel and…”:
Aww, Fennel is so cute! 😁 Tbh, my cats take too much pride and interest in murdering roaches and presenting them to me as gifts. 😐 Once, I was sitting on my sofa when Minnie came up from behind and dropped a dead roach by my shoulder. 😑

He is a big fat baby!

Shaka kills roaches and leaves them in the open where we can find them :(

I see this happening a lot. Parents will tell a child to shake hands/hug/give someone a kiss, or people meeting a child will swoop in and demand physical contact, without checking with the child to see how she might feel about it. There’s an assumption that children’s bodies are part of the commons, and that adults are welcome and encouraged to include physical contact (I’m talking about nonsexual physical contact here, obviously) in their interactions with children. Children are punished for asserting their boundaries and saying no — I see kids sent to their rooms, or ordered to hug an adult back, or otherwise penalised for saying that their bodies are their own and they’d feel more comfortable not touching someone.

Most parents, I strongly believe, do this with the best of intentions. They want their kids to be outgoing and social, and they also want people who are meeting their kids to feel like the kids are engaging with them. But at the same time, it teaches children that they don’t have boundaries, that adults won’t respect their bodies, and that later on in life, they shouldn’t assert themselves when they’re uncomfortable with contact. That has real consequences, and it feeds into larger conversations about consent, bodies, and autonomy.

It’s ‘good manners’ to let someone touch you even when you don’t want her to.

also there was a cockroach in our bathroom so I picked up Fennel and put him in front of it and he just looked at me and shot out of the bathroom as fast as his furry little paws could take him

what do I keep you for, cat

people who can eat large amounts of bread, especially in the morning:

how